Where's The Tampax?

Ok, I'm the only female in a house full of guys: 4 sons and a hubby. Toilet seat never down, etc.-you get the picture. Therefore, I'm the only one who would be using Female products, correct?

A strange thing was happening at my house: tampons were disappearing.

*insert Twilight Zone theme*

It started a few months ago, when I went to my cupboard to get out a tampon and there was only one left. I could have sworn I had just bought a box the month before. So, I go back to the store, buy a new box and forget about it.

The next month (that time of month), I go back to the cupboard and viola! there is only one tampon left, again! What is going on here? Gremlins? Total memory failure?

I go to the store, buy another box and try to chalk it up to forgetfulness, but am really wondering, now.

Later in the month, I decide to clean out my two youngest sons' closet and, Low and Behold! at the bottom of their closet are the wrappers, applicators, and the tampon themselves!

Now I am starting to freak... Dear God, what are they doing with them?!!

I get hold of myself, tell myself that "I am an Adult" and can handle this-despite the bizarre thoughts running through my mind. Wondering, "Do I have enough money saved up in the bank for MAJOR THERAPY?"

I go to the stairs and yell to my two youngest sons to "Come Here, RIGHT NOW!!!"

With their usual lack of speed, they finally appear in their room to find me staring into the bottom of their closet.

I firmly, but with control, ask, "What are you doing with THOSE? Those are MINE!"

My 12 year old looks like a deer caught in the headlights and is silent.

My 10 year old looks at me, all innocent, and says, "Well, Mom, we were playing with our G.I. Joes and THOSE make really good SCUD missiles. What do YOU use them for?"

"NEVER MIND...GO PLAY!"