How To Photograph A Puppy!

** Remove film from box and load camera

** Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

** Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle

** Choose a suitable background for photo

** Mount camera on tripod and focus

** Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth

** Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera

** Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees

** Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand

** Get tissue and clean nose print from lens

** Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

** Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose

** Put magazines back on coffee table

** Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head

** Replace your glasses and check camera for damage

** Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"

** Call spouse to clean up mess

** Fix a drink

** Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning