Are You A Redneck?

HOW TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU ARE REALLY A REDNECK:

** You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

** You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

** The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

** You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

** You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

** You come back from the dump with more than you took.

** Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

** Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

** You took a fishing pole to Sea World.

** You've hit on somebody in a VD clinic.

** Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

** You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

** Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

** A tornado hits your neighborhood and does over $100,000 worth of improvements.

** You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"

** You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

** Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.