Men Can't Win!

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.

If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you thump her, it's wife bashing.

If she thumps you, it's self defense.

If you make a decision without consulting her,
you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you,
she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy,
that's domination.

If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.

If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.

If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

If you don't, you're not thoughtful.